Never Enough

There is a psychological pressure that exists which can be summed up as “never enough.” You may know the feeling. Some might express it as the sense that no matter what they do, it will never be enough. There will always be an expectation of something more. People encounter this in their work lives, but also in other parts of their life too.

American culture and the mythologies that go with it can be summed up at “never enough.” If you do a quick google search on the feeling of never enough, it will list the following things as contributing to this:

• The American Dream: This myth implies anyone can achieve total success through sheer hard work. If you are not succeeding, the myth suggests you simply are not trying hard enough.
• Hyper-Individualism: American culture places the burden of success entirely on the individual. It often ignores systemic barriers, luck, or health, making you feel personally responsible for every outcome.
• Puritan Work Ethic: This foundational cultural belief links your fundamental moral worth directly to your productivity and labor. Rest is often viewed as laziness.
• Performative Overwork: American society frequently glamorizes “hustle culture,” burnout, and working extreme hours as badges of honor.

And the psychological impact of these things is summed up at constantly moving goal posts, conditional self-worth, and anxiety associated with comparing oneself to others due to social media and marketing.

In many ways we are a country that is never satisfied.

There’s some positives to this. We’ve had incredible medical advances, along with other technological advances because we have had the constant belief that there is always something more to improve on. And those advances have had real positive impacts on people’s lives. Our unsatisfied drive for something more has improved our transportation, housing, food, and the list goes on.

And yet…something more comes with a cost.

I’m not talking about an economic or material cost, although something more always comes with those costs. I’m talking about something deeper that is intangible.

The unending something more is exhausting.

Humans can’t continue to just keep going forever. Our bodies literally won’t let us. Every night we essentially shut down the body so it can rest.

Yet we maintain a culture and mythology that rejects that rest with a belief that there is always something more.

About a year and a half ago I read Richard Slotkin’s book “A Great Disorder: National Myth and the Battle for America”. You can read my review of the book here.

In the book, Slotkin makes the case for five national myths that have driven this country. They are The Myth of the Frontier, the Myth of the Founding, the Myths of the Civil War, the Myth of the Good War, and the Myth of the Movement.

At the core of these myths is an understanding about the power of myths. “Myths are stories – true, untrue, half-true – that effectively evoke the sense of nationality and provide an otherwise loosely affiliated people with models of patriotic action.” (Pg. 5)

I would argue that a key feature of each of these myths is the feeling of never enough. The Frontier myth embodies this the most in quite a literal way. The Frontier myth essentially states that we search out new land, new resources, new technology, etc. when we encounter a problem. The cost of this is that we never actually deal with the problem head on. So we have many unresolved issues and challenges because we never actually address the underlying challenges.

The other mythologies are also about never enough though too when you start to really dive into each of them.

I’m thinking about this because of the current debate in this country about Christian Nationalism. In many ways, this term is overused and too abstract. The core of what I’m talking about is the argument over whether the US is a Christian Nation and was founded as one. Part of the problem with that whole argument is defining what a Christian nation would actually be. And what Christ is being followed?

I would argue that one of Christian Nationalism’s core beliefs is the never enough belief. There’s always something more. There’s always more land to control and conquer. There’s always more enemies to fight. There’s always more domains to get control over. There’s always something else. It never ends. It is exhausting.

And the contrast to that is the concept of Shalom. Shalom is more than just a Hebrew greeting of hello. At its core is the idea of peace, completeness, wholeness, and enoughness. I would argue that when Jesus was talking about the kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven, he was talking about Shalom.

He was talking about enough.

When there is enough, there is no need for more. That’s the very definition. When there is enough, there is no need for war. There’s no hunger. No poverty. No excess either. There is just…enough.

Which leaves me with lots of questions. Is American culture and its mythologies in conflict with the concept of Shalom? It certainly seems that way. And if that is the case, can we possibly claim to be a Christian nation and keep a straight face? Are our values, culture, and mythologies more important than the concept of Shalom? What cost are we willing to bear to maintain these values, culture, and mythologies? What would it look like to shift our values, culture, and mythologies to be centered on Shalom? And are we willing to pay the price of this cost?

What does a person do when they’ve had enough of never enough? When a person sees the American culture and mythologies as being in conflict with the Christ centered concept of Shalom, enoughness?

I think you do a few things. You acknowledge the reality of the never enough culture, values, and myths. Don’t sugar coat them. They exist. Better to deal with the reality than a fantasy world.

I think you have to stop waiting for others to change the situation. You have to make decisions of how you will live and move through the world. That might mean setting boundaries. It might be doing less. It might mean living differently.

I think it also requires listening to your self. What is your body telling you? What are you feeling? Not surface level feelings that come and go, but rather, deep feelings that we often cover up or ignore. What is the inner core of who you are trying to tell you?

We are called to live as if the Kingdom of God is already present and unfolding in our midst. So the question if what does that mean in practical terms? What does it mean for your work? Your housing? Your politics? You money? Your investing? Your creativity? Your entertainment? Your food? Your relationships?

In a previous blog post I talked about how peace was costly, very costly. I was talking about how we have incentivized war. We made it very profitable. We made our communities rely on it for jobs and “healthy” economies, etc. But we made peace very costly. We love the abstract concept of peace, but we dare not actually practice it because we’d have to give up a whole lot of how our society functions.

I think the same is true when it comes to “never enough.” We have prioritized the concept, value, culture, and mythology of never enough. We made Shalom very costly. So much so that we even have public pressure on those who don’t participate in “never enough.”

Here’s my challenge to you. Take some time to think and reflect on the culture, values, and mythologies of never enough and ask yourself if this what it means to live faithfully. If the answer is no, then the next question is what are you going to do about it? And when are you starting? And who are you journeying with?