We all need someone who hears us

I’m writing this on Friday, October 25. We are less than two weeks before Election Day. A large minority of voters have already voted. The ads are relentless, especially in swing states, like here in Pennsylvania. It feels like there is no escape. Many people have expressed exhaustion. Many more feel a deep sense of fear and anxiety that are just reinforced every time they turn a screen on – whether it be the news, social media, or even entertainment or sports interrupted non-stop by political advertising designed to invoke fear within the viewer. This election is causing a whole array of dis-health, if that’s even a word.

And so many feel like they have no one to talk to, no one to listen to what they are feeling or going through. Too many are fooling themselves into believing that they just need to get to Nov. 6 so that it will be over. But I think people know that Election Day isn’t the end and that all of it goes away. Our electoral system isn’t designed that way.

In many ways we are a nation who never deals with these things – the dis-health that our society faces. Or rather the multitude of unhealthy things that we have never dealt with. Instead we are too busy piling on additional unhealthy unresolved issues. Maybe we have just finally reached a point that we can’t reach the top to throw yet another unresolved unhealthy thing on top of the pile. There has to be a better way, rather than ignoring unresolved issues that cause dis-health.

One of the challenges that we face as a society is how do we deal with extremism. Those who are the loudest seem to get the most attention. Loud can be noise level. But it can also be those that say the most outlandish thing. Every time that happens, the next round has to get even more outlandish. What’s considered normal expands. But like any rubber band, it will break at some point. It’s just a matter of how stretched normal gets before it breaks.

Extremists are prone to paranoia. Everything becomes either/or. It’s all about going to the worst case scenario – even if that scenario makes no sense with a little bit of critical thinking. Extremism uses the same arguments over and over again. “The other side is winning and will destroy our way of life!!!!” It’s also the oddest of examples, pointed out in a fury of anger and fear. And when criticism negates the basis for the argument, the critic is attacked and the attack is used as a defense – “See, they are out to get us!!!!” You really can reason with an extremist. It’s like talking with a wall – you’ll never get anywhere.

Why does this happen? I think it is because these extremists have a vision of the world that is unrealistic and they can’t handle that the world doesn’t operate the way they demand it operate. Extremism is based on a losing foundation. Extremism isn’t hopeful or hope filled. It lacks the capacity to see how things actually are and replaces it with seeing things as far worse than they are in the hope of scaring people into complying with the extremist. Extremism doesn’t deal with reality.

My question is this – why do we keep making Jesus weep? There’s not a whole lot of references to Jesus weeping. We’re told that Jesus wept at the loss of Lazarus in John 11. It was the loss of a dear friend. Yet, he went knowing he would raise him from the dead. But raising someone from the dead still meant that the person died, and loved ones suffer a close loss and it is painful. Resurrection doesn’t rewind things. It comes after death. And Jesus wept with Mary and Martha.

We’re also told that Jesus wept as he entered Jerusalem in Luke 19. He was entering the city and wept over it saying “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.”

Both of these instances recorded in Scripture have to do with death. John 11 deals with a literal death. Luke 19 is also about Jesus’ literal death, but also a figurative death – death of morality, care, compassion, discipleship, peace. It was death in the sense that these things would be rejected in favor of the empire’s way of life – cruelty, violence, force, the ends justify the means, the strong survive, and might makes right. Stubbornness would apparently win the day. And Jesus wept. Knowing what would happen and what he would do. His rising from the dead wouldn’t rewind to the past. It would show that death doesn’t have the final say.

But boy, does humanity keep trying to promote death and its ways. We seem really addicted to it. We seem willing to pay any price for lies that death and empire offer. And Jesus weeps over us.

Jesus’ way will never be popular – ever. Even in the height of Christendom, the way of Jesus wasn’t ever popular. Christendom was too busy claiming Jesus, while utilizing the way of empire. The way of Christ is not popular. It wasn’t popular when Jesus walked on the Earth and it will never be popular because it goes against what a lot of humans prefer to live by – cruelty, control, fear, anger, division. Those things are popular because they appear to produce results – at least in the short term. But the results never last. There’s always another enemy to fight and defeat. Peace through violence never lasts. There’s always another “other” to fear. There’s always some group of people who aren’t complying. There’s always something else. It never ends. And the ways of death and empire are never permanent.

The way of Christ is not popular because it calls us to die.  We’d rather live with crap than die with the hope of a better way.  We’re more than happy to kill, rather than be willing to die. Death can of course be literal. But more often than not, the death we are called to encounter daily isn’t. It’s about letting die beliefs and ways of living. It’s about letting die how we see the world. It’s about letting die our desire to be in control and to control others. It’s about letting die so much about ourselves – our loyalties, our allegiances, our identities, what we find valuable and important, and more.

So how are we going to deal with the election results? How are we going to deal with our lack of trust in others – whether that trust is about people, institutions, or belief systems? Nov. 6 is coming. We may or may not have election results. Candidates will claim victory or fraud. Anxiety will be high. And that’s not healthy. For some, it may lead to a break point in which they act out in unhealthy ways, possibly causing harm to others. We’ll have people wrapping themselves in all sorts of flags. Flags are things that symbolize and capture beliefs, ideals, ideologies, theologies, and identities. Flags are things meant to be seen and showcase a boundary of who is in and who is out. Flags are things that become a rallying cry and rallying point. Flags make clear what the valuable ground and stands are. Flags can bring people together and they can divide and separate. Flags can symbolize something sacred and can be used to desolate. Flags are just things, but we humans turn them into something more.

So what is your plan for dealing with election results? How are you going to do self-care? The problem we face is we don’t know if we should plan for mourning or joyful celebration. And that applies across the ideological spectrum. Humans don’t do well with the unknown.

As anxiety continues to build, figure out your plan for after Election Day. I think we all need to plan on mourning, something our society is really terrible at doing. We’d rather leave it unresolved than do the hard work of mourning and dealing with the issues we face. We’d rather distract ourselves and ignore the problems. But that doesn’t make them go away. We can’t control what others will do. But we can control what we do. Plan on mourning – mourn how our election process has suffered. Mourn how divided we are as a nation. Mourn how anger and fear have bounded so many people. If the election results don’t go your way, mourn that too.

And offer joy. Joy that our hope is in something far better than politics or ideology. Joy in waking up to a new day – regardless of the challenges we face. Joy in relationships that matter. Joy in life.

None of that is to dismiss the real problems and challenges we have. Those exist and are deep problems. But those will be there. Take the day after Election Day to mourn and to express joy – regardless of the results. The results are out of your control. And the person who is elected will do whatever they will do. You’ll have a choice in how you respond. True to faith, or what so many do – claim faith while doing the opposite. The choice is yours.

But please know, if you need someone to listen to you – there are people who will listen, without judgement. I’m hear. I’m not perfect. But I’ll listen. I don’t have the answers. Much of the world doesn’t make sense to me anyway. I have faith in very few things – most everything else disappoints.

Everyone needs someone who will listen. That includes you and me. I’ll listen to you.